In modern dating, there's no escaping talk of 'red flags'.For many people, it's often helpful to recognise a list of so-called 'red flag' behaviours, or warning signs that suggest a relationship isn't progressing in a healthy way. It's not so common to talk about 'green flags', but that doesn't mean they're unimportant.
Georgina Sturmer, a British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) accredited therapist, told Yahoo UK: "There's a lot of misdirection in relationships – grand gestures, shiny gifts, the powerful pull of romantic connection.
"And this can make us overlook the importance of the green flags; the simple things that show us that a relationship has longevity." Fortunately, in her conversation with the publication, Georgina shared four 'green flags' that are positive in a relationship, and might be overlooked.
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Making time for your family and friendsOne well-known red flag is when someone doesn't want you to spend time with your family and friends. They could be trying to isolate you from the people who have your best interests at heart.
On the flip side, Georgina points out that it is positive when someone makes time for your loved ones in their life. "They might not necessarily all become best friends, but they will understand the importance of these people in your life, and they will make an effort with them," she explains.
Georgina said it's natural for people to have different likes and dislikes, but it is a green flag if your partner takes an interest in your hobbies and interests. It helps you feel as if they really care, she says.
It doesn't have to be anything major; perhaps they are interested in your music taste or favourite films.
They pay attention to the 'small things'Romcoms might have you believing that romance is defined by grand gestures, but smaller gestures could also signal a relationship's longevity. "Remember the ‘orange peel theory’ that went viral?" the expert asked Yahoo UK.
"The idea is that it’s the small acts we do that show that we really know our partner, and that we are happy to go out of our way to do them – without being asked. Filling up the car, picking up their favourite food from the shops, or even peeling an orange for them."
Finally, if you truly feel you're being heard by your partner, this could be another strong 'green flag' that's easy to overlook despite its importance. Developing your skills as a listener can benefit you both in your personal and professional relationships.
According to Peak Leadership Institute: "Effective listening is about more than being a passive mirror—it’s about being a thought partner and actively supporting the other person. The best thought partners put the speaker at ease and help them build clarity around the topics discussed.
"Research shows that when a speaker receives excellent listening they develop greater attitude complexity, which includes an increased ability to see their strengths and weaknesses, reduced defensiveness, and less extreme viewpoints."
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