Children's habit of throwing and breaking things is a manifestation of their curiosity and energy, which needs to be channeled properly. If this behavior continues into adolescence and becomes a form of anger expression, parents should recognize and control it early. According to parenting influencer Dr. Pallavi Rao Chaturvedi, this is an important parenting lesson that can help children get back on track before their habits become worse...

Whenever Abhishek brings a toy for his son Vicky, he destroys it within minutes and then plays with the broken toys. Despite repeated explanations, Abhishek still doesn't understand Vicky's habits, but children are children after all. Meanwhile, his older brother, Ashish, is also concerned about his daughter Siya, who is approaching adolescence, becoming angry and throwing things. Is your child, like them, breaking things out of curiosity or anger?
Many parents struggle to distinguish between a habit and something else. A child who throws blocks may be exploring cause and effect, but a teenager who breaks a phone or pushes a plate away in anger when they don't like their food is likely grappling with deeper emotions. Understanding the root cause is the first step towards effective parenting.
Understand the Basic Difference
For very young children, breaking or throwing things is often a way to satisfy curiosity. They are learning how the world works, and a broken toy may be an accidental side effect of experimentation. However, when older children or teenagers repeatedly break things, especially during conflict, it's likely an expression of frustration or anger. A good way to understand the difference is to ask: Is this behavior accidental and driven by curiosity, or is it harmful to people or property? Occasional outbursts are normal, but a consistent pattern of breaking things is a clear sign that a child is struggling to control their emotions.
Understand the Root Cause
For teens, destructive behavior is often linked to deeper issues. It can be a sign of frustration stemming from a lack of independence, pressure from school or peers, poor communication at home, or even a desire for attention. The key is to address the root cause, not just the act itself. You can do this through open, non-judgmental communication. Help your teen find appropriate outlets for sharing their feelings, such as sports, music, or journaling. Expand their emotional vocabulary so they can name their emotions instead of misrepresenting them. If this behavior becomes frequent and dangerous, it's important to seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.
Most importantly, set an example of healthy behavior. Children of all ages learn from how you handle stress and conflict. By staying calm and addressing the underlying issues, you can help your child develop the emotional skills they need to navigate the world without resorting to chaos.
Strategy Adapts to Age
Teaching a child to manage their frustration is a long-term process.
For young children: Young children are often unaware of their emotions. When they act irritable, speak to them in a calm voice and teach them simple words for their emotions, such as whether they are angry or sad. Praise them when they handle their emotions well.
For teenagers: Involve them in exercise, mindfulness exercises, or physical activities. Encourage creative hobbies like art or writing. Involve them in problem-solving discussions. Set clear boundaries. Ensure there are consequences for breaking things, such as helping to fix or replace them.

Your reaction is crucial.
When a child breaks something in anger, a quick response from parents is crucial. The most important thing is to remain calm and set an example of emotional control. First, remove any dangerous objects and ensure everyone is safe. Then, acknowledge your child's feelings with a simple statement like, "I can see you're angry." Avoid common mistakes like lecturing or yelling in anger. Discipline is more effective when emotions have calmed down. Immediately replacing a broken item is also a mistake, as it may inadvertently feel like a reward. Instead, teach your child to use words to express their feelings later.
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